A Money Coach in Canada

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John entered his second marriage at 38, with a painful secret. He was $25,000 in credit card debt. He always meant to tell Susan, but could never find the courage. John was deeply ashamed both of the $25,000 debt itself (it was consumer debt) and even more that he hadn’t told Susan.

Five years into the marriage, he was pretty sure Susan suspected (after all, a few hundred dollars a month didn’t make it off his paycheque into the family budget, but mysteriously ‘disappeared’ each month), but still didn’t feel ready to discuss it.

John came to me wanting to get really organized with his spending, and make a plan to shed the debt. How would you suggest he deal with his secret?255723_6162.jpg

About the Author

Imagine if Canadians were known for being all over their money. Engaged. Proactive. Getting out of debt. Savvy. Saving. Generous. Nancy wants to help. Nancy started her own journey with money over 15 years ago, and formed her company “Your Money by Design” in 2004 to help others along the same path. It’s not the usual financial advising/investment stuff. It’s about taking control of day-to-day finances –managing monthly cashflow effectively, spending appropriately, getting out of debt, saving. If you're ready to take control over your finances, pop by her business site, YourMoneybyDesign.com


  1. send him to me! 🙂

    i personally think he needs to tell his wife; the secret will weigh to heavily on him and/or the relationship over time.

    he’ll probably need a few conversations to get to the point where he feels strong enough to face the music.

    three things i’d be working on with him:

    1) what will make him feel supported when he does go and tell his wife?

    2) it’s probably a good idea to present her with a very concrete plan as to what he’s going to do in the future with the debt, with evidence that he’s capable of doing it

    3) of course it’s possible that the wife will say, oh geez, finally you’ve told me, i’m so happy. more likely, she’ll be hurt and angry, and it’ll take her a while to get over it. how will they, each on their own, and within the relationship, deal with that?


    Jul 02, 2007
  2. Obviously he should put a lot of thought into this. He should formulate a financial plan that his wife can see the benefits to – for example in five or ten years. He could then confess his secret. A few days later, when she has had the time to realize that he is sincere and has the best financial interest of the family in mind, he should call me about refinancing his home! Rather than hiding a financial mess, it is best to confront it and go forth with a sound financial plan that is achievable.




    Jul 10, 2007

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