A Money Coach in Canada

Follow & Subscribe

Buillies aren’t just found on school grounds. There is growing recognition that they exist on the workplace, and they can make life hell for their targets as well as undermine their company’s business objectives by diminishing their targets – and usually their team’s – ability to function effectively.

Why any business puts up with it beats me. At best, it’s wasteful nonsense; at worst it is deeply destructive and sabotages the organization. In my small-business work experience, it would not be tolerated: it’s too easily apparent that tolerating bullying behaviour is a net drain on the business even if it’s by a high-performer.

The following piece is the personal experience of someone I know well. She prefers to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. The experience below occurred in a large hotel chain headquartered in Europe, with over 145,000 employees.

Readers, if you relate to her experience, I’d so appreciate if you leave a comment. I’d like to know how much it cost you personally, because there’s always a dollar value attached, and what you’d estimate its cost was (dollar value) to the company where you experienced it. You can leave your comment anonymously – just fill in fake e-mail and name. I’ll never know the difference.

___________________________________
BULLIED ON THE JOB

Serial workplace bullying is only one of the recognized workplace bullying behaviours seen in today’s business world, and it doesn’t seem to matter which industry or country you are in. Despite legislation or corporate policies, many companies still have ongoing issues of this unsocial behaviour. How do I know? I have been targeted by serial workplace bullies in two countries. I don’t have scientific research to back up my thoughts — I have personal experience and desktop research. This is what I know.

Bullies will continue to be part of the workplace as long as people don’t talk about it. I think it is time to keep the conversation going. And to have a conversation, it is helpful to have the facts.

Bullies don’t target the stereotype of weak incapable staff — they target people who are ethical, just, fair, well-liked, highly personable, strong, independent, intelligent and self-assured.

Bullies are driven by feelings of inadequacy at being able to do their job, and fear being exposed. Bullies envy the target’s abilities, are jealous of their social skills and relationships. Bullies turn their insecurity outwards, finding satisfaction as they attack and try to diminish the capable people around them. Bullies try to project guilt, shame and fear — which are known as tactics of control. It is how all abusers try to gain control over their targets and silence them.

And there is a huge impact on our societies. Bullying affects individuals, colleagues, corporations, organizational productivity and the economy. Many of these targeted individuals either take long periods of leave from work, or they leave, some never finding their feet again. The cost to lives and communities continues to add up. Why do we keep accepting this behaviour in our society?

As I said, I was bullied at work, once in Canada and twice in Australia. After being bullied the first time, and choosing to learn from the experience, when I saw the signs a second time, I had no issue to act and speak out quickly.

In my first meeting with the new General Manager after returning to work from my summer holiday, I was confronted with a finger wagging across the desk at me and the words “I have it on good authority that you…” with very negative words about me coming next. I was appalled. Rather than get to know me, he chose to believe, and repeat the vicious words the two office bullies had started to circulate the weeks before I went on leave. I was the third manager in our team to be targeted in 12 months. I recognized the signs all too well. I had spoken to HR before, now it was directed at me.

When his phone rang, I excused myself from his office and called his bluff. I went back to my office, sorted my emails, packed my personal belongings from my desk and typed up my resignation. Within 30 minutes of experiencing the escalation of the bullying, I left with eight weeks pay.

I also talked about what was going on, to former colleagues, to other managers, to HR — I got it on record. I knew it was my choice about how long I wanted to stay, or leave. This organization had no bullying policy — and no intention of putting one in place. There would be too many staff to deal with if a new policy was written. I knew there was nothing I could do to change the corporate will to stop the bullying.

If you are being bullied, or know someone who is being bullied, learn about it. There is plenty of good information available online. Know that you are not alone, that bullying will not go away through your good behaviour, and decide what you are going to do to look after yourself.

_________________________

Resources for folks being bullied:

http://www.workplacebullying.org/

Your “>EAP

KickBully

Photo Credit: CoalandIce

About the Author


Imagine if Canadians were known for being all over their money. Engaged. Proactive. Getting out of debt. Savvy. Saving. Generous. Nancy wants to help. Nancy started her own journey with money over 15 years ago, and formed her company “Your Money by Design” in 2004 to help others along the same path. It’s not the usual financial advising/investment stuff. It’s about taking control of day-to-day finances –managing monthly cashflow effectively, spending appropriately, getting out of debt, saving. If you're ready to take control over your finances, pop by her business site, YourMoneybyDesign.com

2 Comments

  1. Laura

    I have been a victim of workplace bullying, not once-but twice, with the same company. The first time it was a female co-worker who chose to bully her colleagues in a passive aggressive manner – taking made up issues, blowing them way out of proportion, and then having hour(s) long meetings with management complaining about the work ethics of the people she has to work with. Management did nothing – hoping the problem would go away. It did- 2.5 years later.

    My second instance happened earlier this year, with an incredibly aggressive recent hire. He used intimidation and fear as a way to do his job. Knowing how the management team handles (or rather doesn’t handle problems) I chose to ignore him. His aggression grew to target me. He would confront me at every opportunity, twisting my words into racial slurs (which I don’t do), telling coworkers that I was gossiping about him (which I didn’t do), and then loudly calling me horrific names in front of my boss and other co-workers. Despite my boss giving him a warning, the abuse continued. I dreaded going to work everyday.

    Finally, a little over a month ago, this employee stated: that while he doesn’t hit women, he would like to do completely twisted and violent act involving me – (too difficult for me to describe here). There were witnesses that heard ths. Knowing that the company wouldn’t do anything about this, I started preparing my exit strategy. 3 days later, he punched a co-worker in the face (unprovoked). After some deliberation, he was fired.

    This company does not have an HR Dept. And no policies regarding aggressive or violent employees. As far as I know, this happening has not moved the management team to create such a policy either.

    When asked why I didn’t step forward and report the bullying, I gave 2 reasons:
    1. the management team has not shown any interest or initiative in protecting their employees.
    2. my own boss refers to me as “bitch” (although he states that he uses it as a term of endearment). This gives the impression that the management team is not available to me.

    What has it cost me? I spent the last 8 months suffering from migraines, and horrible anxiety attacks (which have made me seek psychological treatment). I dread going to work in the morning. I have hid in the bathroom while I have an emotional break (something I have never done before). And creatively I have been blocked.

    What I have learned is that his bullying and aggression is *not* about me. There are options available, and if I am ever in a similar situation, I will be using them. But, I am also preparing myself to have a life where I don’t have to depend on such an environment for income. And that may be the best thing to come from all of this.

    I am so glad that you have written about this topic, and given me an opportunity to tell my story. Because I have tried to write about it for almost a year, and wasn’t able to.

    [Reply]

    Nancy (aka Moneycoach) Reply:

    I’m so sorry you experienced what you did Laura and can only hope you swiftly regain your own sense of power. By not immediately addressing the man who bullied you and then hit a coworker (and there was DELIBERATION about firing him??), the employer has a) lost your productivity plus presumably the person who got punched (who may have a lawsuit available to him/her) plus b) the loss of the productivity that should have been generated by the bully. You are right, his bullying was *not* about you. You just happened to be in sight. And hat tip to you for working towards the financial empowerment to walk the hell away from absurd working conditions like that. Go, you.

    [Reply]

    Aug 20, 2011

Leave a Reply




CommentLuv badge