A little while ago I wrote an article on trying vs. allowing. Nancy thought it would be interesting to apply this to our relationship with money.
“Okay, so here is the spreadsheet for tracking your money. Can you use that for a month?”
Proabably, this scenario happens once in a while in Nancy’s practice. I know it does in my counseling practice.
What does this “trying” actually mean?
The pleasant part of “trying” is that it’s open ended, that it points to a beginner’s mind. The not-so-pleasant part sometimes makes me think of clenched teeth, ‘trying but failing’ or ‘trying without much effort.’
It’s not a very powerful word, and if I’m right about the clenched teeth, the failing and the lack of effort, it’s a word that speaks of discomfort, disappointment and lack of energy.
That’s why the idea of “allowing” feels so much better. It’s still open ended. It’s a word that is sweet and expansive. It’s about opening one’s arms and saying, come in, come in! And in that, it is much more powerful.
Instead of being a good little girl then and “trying” to follow the advice of an authority, I can consider the advice of an experienced equal and allow myself to experiment with it. Instead of “ok, I’ll try”, we could have:
“Hmmm, I wonder what will happen when I see where all my money goes? What insights might I gain? How could doing this help me invite more interesting and helpful things into my life?”
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