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Trying

A little while ago I wrote an article on trying vs. allowing. Nancy thought it would be interesting to apply this to our relationship with money.

“Okay, so here is the spreadsheet for tracking your money. Can you use that for a month?”

“I’ll try.”

Proabably, this scenario happens once in a while in Nancy’s practice. I know it does in my counseling practice.

What does this “trying” actually mean?

The pleasant part of “trying” is that it’s open ended, that it points to a beginner’s mind. The not-so-pleasant part sometimes makes me think of clenched teeth, ‘trying but failing’ or ‘trying without much effort.’

It’s not a very powerful word, and if I’m right about the clenched teeth, the failing and the lack of effort, it’s a word that speaks of discomfort, disappointment and lack of energy.

Yuk.

That’s why the idea of “allowing” feels so much better. It’s still open ended. It’s a word that is sweet and expansive. It’s about opening one’s arms and saying, come in, come in! And in that, it is much more powerful.

Instead of being a good little girl then and “trying” to follow the advice of an authority, I can consider the advice of an experienced equal and allow myself to experiment with it. Instead of “ok, I’ll try”, we could have:

“Hmmm, I wonder what will happen when I see where all my money goes? What insights might I gain? How could doing this help me invite more interesting and helpful things into my life?”


isabella mori
moritherapy
counseling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

About the Author


Imagine if Canadians were known for being all over their money. Engaged. Proactive. Getting out of debt. Savvy. Saving. Generous. Nancy wants to help. Nancy started her own journey with money over 15 years ago, and formed her company “Your Money by Design” in 2004 to help others along the same path. It’s not the usual financial advising/investment stuff. It’s about taking control of day-to-day finances –managing monthly cashflow effectively, spending appropriately, getting out of debt, saving. If you're ready to take control over your finances, pop by her business site, YourMoneybyDesign.com

3 Comments

  1. Thanks for this, Isabella. And I agree – over the years, the word ‘try’ has begun to connote the following …’and not succeeding’. Whereas ‘allow’ has a feel exactly as you said – expansiveness, open-ness to possibility. Also, it’s critical to me in my work with clients that I am not the ‘authority’ but rather, someone who comes alongside and offers suggestions on a topic I happen to have quite a bit of experience with, but definitely as an equal peer.

    [Reply]

    Sep 20, 2007
  2. I think you are absolutely right! In my teaching, I mostly ” ask” the students to “try” some technique in their next week’s practising – and it does have the connotation that it probably won’t work or they probably won’t do it! So I am going to “try” telling them that “this is what I want you to do this next week “- I think it will be much more productive. Of course, then I will have to use it on myself as well……….

    [Reply]

    Sep 21, 2007

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