What kind of relationship do you have with your money?

Is it healthy? Unhealthy? Toxic?

Are you intimately in touch with your money, or woefully out of touch — and headed for trouble?

Are you in control of your money, or is it in control of you?

Does it support you and serve you, or does it cause you anxiety and sleepless nights?

Listen to my recommendations about how to start developing a healthy relationship with your money on this CBC interview:

Relationship with Money CBC Interview

Want further support?
1. My simply $25 online program will get you in better touch with your money, and help you gain control of problem areas.
2. This book has some thoughtful research and great ideas. I’m not thrilled with the look and feel and tone of the advertising but it’s full of great stuff.

Photo Credit: Hipponotized

Well I didn’t used to put it quite so baldly, but when I read this post Rewrite Your Old Stories and Move On I was reminded of advice I give to clients.

If you aren’t doing well with your money, or if you have an unhealthy relationship with it, you likely picked  a lot of it  up from your family of origin. It’s time to get new parents.

Look around you. Who do you know who has a few years on you, and is doing well for themselves financially?
Adopt them as new role models and seek opportunity to learn from them (or him or her). If you are comfortable enough, start having conversations with them about money. You could ask questions like:

• What are the top three financial habits you think everyone should have?
• If you could do one thing differently, what would you do?
• What do you think makes the difference between people who struggle with money and those who thrive?

Those are reasonably non-threatening questions and if the conversation goes well, you could ask more meaningful or specific questions at a later time.

In addition to asking questions, observe them.  Not creepily, of course!

• what are the cues to you that they are savvy with money?
• What about the way they are with money do you aspire to?
• What are the differences in how they behave with money and how you do?

Readers,  time to chime in!   I’m interested:  What have you learned about money (good things!) from people other than your family?  And what is the best thing about money you learned from your family?

OK – I’ll go first.   From non-bloodline “parents”  I learned how lovely it can be to be gracious with money.   And from my family, I learned the empowerment of creating an income from entrepreneurship instead of a job.   Over to you!

update: for a recap of all Sept Money 101 posts, click here

Thanks to my experience with Nancy’s Money Coaching, I now have a healthy relationship with my money. Using techniques & strategies she taught, combined with tackling my old and outdated belief system around money, I managed to extract myself from $25K in debt. No more dreaded credit card bills weighing me down, no more not knowing what’s happening to my money – now I live within my means and feel pride in how well managed it is!

Kathryn
Vancouver, BC

How do you perceive yourself and your money? Do you have a healthy relationship? Do you avoid it? Feel anxious about it? Feel it’s beneath you to think about it?

Money should be a reflection of you and your values – a means of bringing more of yourself into the world. It can be a wonderful blessing, something that nourishes you and people you love, and allows you to help create the kind of world you want to see.

If you are skittish around it, or uninvolved, it’s like a loose energy that may not be helpful to you or people you care about or your community.

If you’re ready to get intimate with your money, start with my simple step-by-step program, It’s Your Money!

Are you stressed about money? You’re in good company – it’s a common thing!  Many folks respond by avoiding thinking about money altogether.  There are more productive ways to handle the stress and simultaneously re-arrange the power relationship between you and your money.

5 Actions to take if you’re stressed about money:

1. Crunch your numbers. Empower yourself with an accurate, not fear-based, picture of your financial situation. I can’t tell you how often my money coaching clients would experience a great sense of relief when they actually crunched the numbers – both the good (assets) and the bad (debts).  Once they clearly understood where they were at, they felt more grounded and could think more clearly. Extra good news: almost always the picture was brighter than they’d thought!

2.  Put yourself in charge! Stress is often a result of feeling out of control over something that matters.  If you you are held back from this either by your own thinking (I’m no good with money) or by a partner (she won’t let me), even taking incremental steps will help lower your stress.

3. Prioritize. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to solve everything.  Choose your top three (maximum!) priorities that you want to address over the next year.

4. Act! You’ve decided upon your top priorities. Now spend at least 15 minutes each evening and at least 1 hour each weekend planning (and scheming if need be!) how you will address the root causes of your financial anxiety. With the plans laid, consistently act on them until you are satisfied.   These could range from plans to increase your income to making the phone call to the cable company with a repayment plan to a conversation with your family about needed changes.

5. Give yourself a break. It’s a rare person who doesn’t have some significant money issues at some point in their life.   Don’t beat yourself up over it!  Do what is in your power to do, then carry on with your life and enjoy family, friends, whatever good things are in your life that encourage and delight you.

Photo Credit: Josef aka Hipnosato

Great quote from one of my top five money books (“The secret language of money” – not my fave title for it but what can you do?):

Money means less when true inner peace exists; it becomes a simple medium of exchange, free from complex meanings or hopes of enhanced self-worth.

Makes you think, eh?