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Photo Credit: Zazie

Sometimes I wonder, when did my life stop being so fun?  And then I remember that I picked my job over my friends.

That’s the caption (but not the postcard photo) over on the PostSecret blog today.

It reminded me of an incident in my early 30s.   My best friend, as in BFF, was getting married.  A couple weeks before the wedding, she had invited the bridesmaids to try on our dresses (which were fantastic, and I wore mine multiple times in the next few years, for the record), then was taking us out to Milestones on English Bay for brunch.

Things were really tense at my workplace those days.   We had a new boss, a micro-manager, plus the business was not going well.  I was new on my job, in over my head, and putting in long hours.  I told her I likely couldn’t spare the hours on that Saturday morning.

Thank God, I came to my senses, albeit it reluctantly, and eventually opted to go for the fitting and the brunch.   We had an absolutely lovely time, and it remains part of my collection of memories about her wedding.

I only stayed in the job a few more months, and within a couple more years the business went under.

My friend has remained my BFF for the past two decades and is one of the people who I most trust, and rely on (in addition to just having fun with her and her family!)

Can you imagine if I’d been so foolish as to exchange the brunch for getting a few hours work done? What was I thinking?
Readers, how ’bout you?  Have you ever sacrificed something that you regret, for some hours at the office?

About the Author


Imagine if Canadians were known for being all over their money. Engaged. Proactive. Getting out of debt. Savvy. Saving. Generous. Nancy wants to help. Nancy started her own journey with money over 15 years ago, and formed her company “Your Money by Design” in 2004 to help others along the same path. It’s not the usual financial advising/investment stuff. It’s about taking control of day-to-day finances –managing monthly cashflow effectively, spending appropriately, getting out of debt, saving. If you're ready to take control over your finances, pop by her business site, YourMoneybyDesign.com

11 Comments

  1. I am glad you made the right choice 🙂

    Raul’s last blog post..The Narrow Artist Lounge (Main Street, Mount Pleasant)

    [Reply]

    May 02, 2009
  2. I think I need to take your advice to heart. I’ve not been exactly a hermit these days, but several times, the equation of ‘work’ vs. ‘friends’ has gone to the ‘work’ side…and I’m not even getting paid (still) because it’s work on a pitch to get work.

    Amazing that I can be getting so poor and yet forget how rich I am in friends…

    BTW, speaking of friends, I’m here via NetChick’s meet and greet, although I never need an excuse to visit you (and Pam and I think of you every time we see the weather map in the morning and look at your temperature…brrrrr!)

    [Reply]

    May 02, 2009
  3. I learned early on that no one ever looks back at their lives and wishes they had spent more time at the office. Work is a means to an end, a way for us to maintain a certain standard of living and provide for our families and ourselves. It saddens me when I see folks who can’t find a balance between the two.

    Carmi’s last blog post..Caption This 119

    [Reply]

    May 03, 2009
  4. Yes, but it was necessary. Here via Netchick. You have a great site. Stop by anytime! :D)

    [Reply]

    May 03, 2009
  5. brad

    Jobs come and go, but you have to live with yourself forever. On the other hand, I think you have to judge your priorities on a case-by-case basis. If I have a friend who desperately needs my help at the same time that I’m dealing with an urgent and important deadline at work, I choose the friend, no contest. But not every situation is as clear-cut. If my friends are truly friends they will understand and accept that sometimes my work has to take priority.

    [Reply]

    May 04, 2009
  6. I did that sooo many times when I was a performer – so desperate for the rare audition that came up that I postponed a flight to see my friend – and (knowingly) arrived a day late for her 30th birthday….

    It took me many years to realize that work isn’t everything – no many how important it is to “be successful”. It’s a hollow feeling even to have “successful” moments, when you have chosen work over friends and loved one. I still battle it slightly (a bit Type A, ya know) but I seek more of a balance. And cherish the relationships I have.

    [Reply]

    May 04, 2009
  7. @Monica – the audition would be so compelling too – an opportunity to work, everything riding on that moment – I can see how hard it would be to ever resist one. It also reminds me of something I’m sure you’ve experienced as I have (perhaps more): when you have the thrill of doing your thing (perform, pull off something awesome) and it feels so great, and then, you go home. The high fades and all the usual humdrum of life floods back — and that “humdrum” feels so much better when there are true friends in it. In fact, it transforms it out of humdrum into contentment.
    @brad Agreed. We often have to make quick judgement calls which could go one way or the other depending on a variety of factors.
    @Carmi No kidding, eh? That would be psychotic, to be at the end of your life and wish you’d put in more time at the office. Ugh!
    @Michael Welcome to my blog and thanks for popping by!
    @David Makes me all the more glad you came out for my goodbye shindig!
    @Raul, me too!

    [Reply]

    May 04, 2009
  8. Nope.

    ioana’s last blog post..my son is funny

    [Reply]

    May 05, 2009
  9. Oh, yes, as a dancer/performer I sacrificed so much for a show, a class, anything. All the time. Including time to sleep, recover, family, travel, and maybe fertility.

    ioana’s last blog post..my son is funny

    [Reply]

    May 05, 2009
  10. Pam

    I agree with 3Carmi. No one looks back on overtime hours with any sense of fondness. In fact that was the example used a talk I attended recently–strategies for changing your mood. The speaker made a point to recognize how you will feel before, during, and after doing something. Luckily you got to feel glad afterward and for decades to come.

    [Reply]

    May 08, 2009

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