A Money Coach in Canada

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I work with a number of couples.

This year, two couples had a very specific issue:  the women were disappointed with their husbands’ paycheques.

It’s interesting.   While I’m guessing the romance didn’t include discussions along the lines of, “I love you because you’re smart and funny and honest and because you make $60K now and I imagine that will only increase” …. at some level, the question of earning power played into the mix of why the women committed themselves to these particular men.

And while I’ve yet to find hard data supporting the theory that finances are one of the leading causes of divorce, it won’t surprise me if a study comes out that corroborates this.

In these cases, I had no easy answer to offer.  For their own all-too-human reasons, indeed the economic promise of these men did not materialize.   This means  the couples have to examine their own understandings of what it means to be married.  Like it or not, for most of us “being married” still has a cool, hard business angle to it.   “Being married” is (d’uh) a different state than “being in love.”   And more often than not, as the years go by in marriage, the business factor outweighs the being in love factor if there is a significant discrepancy between present reality and early promise.

I haven’t yet met with a couple where the husband was re-evaluating his relationship with his wife because she wasn’t earning enough.  But I imagine that day will come.

About the Author


Imagine if Canadians were known for being all over their money. Engaged. Proactive. Getting out of debt. Savvy. Saving. Generous. Nancy wants to help. Nancy started her own journey with money over 15 years ago, and formed her company “Your Money by Design” in 2004 to help others along the same path. It’s not the usual financial advising/investment stuff. It’s about taking control of day-to-day finances –managing monthly cashflow effectively, spending appropriately, getting out of debt, saving. If you're ready to take control over your finances, pop by her business site, YourMoneybyDesign.com

2 Comments

  1. Angela

    Although I don’t have any data to support this, but I think it has been a very long time since women marry particular men for men’s money. Even novels have been written about it — Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice? The hero of the story, Mr. Darcy, reportedly earned 10 thousand pounds a year. I suppose that was a lot of money back then; somewhere in the novel it was indicated that a thousand pounds a year could support a family of 7 rather comfortably. Anyway, that “10 thousand pounds a year” fact was repeated over and over again thoughout the novel, making Mr. Darcy the most desirable man among the unmarried ladies.

    If a classic novel had written about it, it must be true!

    On the other hand, I think more husbands re-evaluate their relationships with their wives because the wives are not good housekeepers.

    [Reply]

    Oct 11, 2008
  2. Thats an evolutionary no-brainer actually.

    A man may not re-evaluate his spouses income, but he would certainly re-evaluate his relationship with an infertile woman. The more income a man has, the younger the arm candy and more fertile she appears to be.

    A woman looks for a man who is capable of supporting her and her potential children. It’s a fact. When couples are beginning their relationship, a man is more attractive based on his earning potential. The only “but” to this is when a woman is ovulating, she is more likely to take a lover – one that has a nice genetic load, but she will settle down with the one who will pad the nest and will stick around to raise the babies. Take two men, equal in attractiveness and personality – but one is unemployed and uneducated. The other, is educated and is starting a promising career. The second guy gets the girl. Think about what many of the “get to know you” questions typically are when women talk to me…..”so..what do you do for a living”.

    There have been many studies on this in the Journal of Evolutionary Behavior.

    I would argue that the woman perhaps are unhappy with their spouses when they are not being proactive in advancing their careers and therefore providing better for their families.

    [Reply]

    Oct 11, 2008

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