A Money Coach in Canada

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Last week I received the following e-mail. Boy, it brought back memories.

the screHello Nancy, I know you are not a shrink but I’m wondering if you can make any recommendations for times…like I am currently having…when I’m losing control of my emotions over the financial situation. What do you recommend?

My response: Dear ___________,

your note -esp the frank ‘help’ in the subject line – reminded me of what I used to go through about 15 years ago.

I used to call them “demon nights” or “night terrors”. The anxiety ran so deep I could not think clearly and I was panic-filled with dark thoughts about everything regarding my finances.

I don’t know if you’re in that dark of a space, but I can say this: on a personal note, I absolutely unequivocably do not experience that horror show anymore. At all. Full stop.

Neither will you, with time, as you take action to really take hold of your finances.

I’m not sure what thoughts are going through you, but I can almost guarantee that they are not coming from a grounded, thoughtful perception of reality, but rather, like in former times for me, from some other place. This is not to trivialize some of what you’re up against – there is definitely work to be done – but you are Not (!) up against anything that is insurmountable. You WILL be ok. You Will find your way through to a time when things feel consistently more calm.

So, take some deep, slow breaths. Give yourself permission to believe what may currently appear unbelievable: that you will emerge to another, stronger, powerful place in your relationship with money.

Give yourself permission to believe your current thoughts are not reflective of reality (*please* don’t take offence at that – I’m speaking out of my own experience) and that in fact things are brighter than they currently seem.

Write out a list for yourself of things you can do to help you feel better (meditate? exercise? meet with a friend? reading?)

Hope this helps take the edge off,

nancy

Any readers out there who can relate? How did you handle your anxiety? Do you still experience a lot of anxiety?Any tips for bringing some calm into the situation?

About the Author


Imagine if Canadians were known for being all over their money. Engaged. Proactive. Getting out of debt. Savvy. Saving. Generous. Nancy wants to help. Nancy started her own journey with money over 15 years ago, and formed her company “Your Money by Design” in 2004 to help others along the same path. It’s not the usual financial advising/investment stuff. It’s about taking control of day-to-day finances –managing monthly cashflow effectively, spending appropriately, getting out of debt, saving. If you're ready to take control over your finances, pop by her business site, YourMoneybyDesign.com

2 Comments

  1. I’m pretty sure most of us experience anxiety over money at one time or another. What works for me is taking a logical view of the current financial picture, by keeping my own set of books, so that at any time I can see the big picture. Then asking myself what are my options? And deciding what action to take that will relieve the pressure, but also will take me toward my financial goal.

    On the emotional level, I can recommend a book that deals with changing our emotions: The Astonishing Power of Emotions – Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

    If there’s a panic attack happening, the best is Nancy’s suggestion – breathe, slow it down and meditate.

    [Reply]

    Feb 10, 2008
  2. lorree

    Yes, anxiety can be very debilitating, and if one has never been there with financial anxiety, it is hard to understand. People can be very judgemental. When I was looking for a coach, I inquired to many and one e-mailed me and said “you do not need a coach, you need a debt counselor!” that was the only think that “coach” wrote to me. It was not what I needed to hear when I was reaching out for support. I knew that that was not the right person for me to work with, as that person was judgemental and could not benefit me. I found Nancy and worked with her for a short time…in my heart I knew she was the person to help me through a rough patch with her nurturing manner (I am in the USA, but it does not matter where the coach is!). I am very careful who I trust nowadays and especially who I share my fears with, as many people are not encouraging, supportive and can be detrimental to forward movement when one is feeling down and out. I think you landed with a great coach to help you move forward!

    I think walking hand in hand with someone who is grounded, as Nancy is, to look at your finances is the way out. No matter what the reason, it can be overwhelming and too challenging at this present time to go it alone. I hope you are patting yourself on the back in reaching out for support and taking the first step to gain better control of your life. The anxiety will fade away as Nancy points out through time and continued financial awareness.

    I will say that when one is feeling overwhelmed, meditation can be daunting. I found that Guided visualizations are such a wonderful thing that can help to relax, ground and uplift. Belleruth N. has fantastic guided imagery and positive affirmations (there is one on stress):
    http://www.healthjourneys.com/category.aspx

    The other thing that helped me was hiring either a bookeeper (I found one on craig’s list) or organizer (many home organizers do financial organization and hired one as well). So if have boxes or bags of “mail” and you are feeling too overwhelmed, cannot bear to do it, and can afford it….I would recommend hiring one. What would have taken me weeks as I was too overwhelmed…took them one day to sort and sift and organize, as they had no value placed on it like I did. They are not expensive if you shop around and you can tell them alittle of your story to get a feel if they are right for you.

    In the states and in Canada (I looked it up) they have debtors anonymous. Even if you are not in debt from spending, it gives a wonderful support base and mentor system.

    I wish you the best of luck on your journey…half of the journey is taking the first step and you are in good hands with your Nancy!

    Lorree

    [Reply]

    Feb 17, 2008

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