A Money Coach in Canada

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Trying

A little while ago I wrote an article on trying vs. allowing. Nancy thought it would be interesting to apply this to our relationship with money.

“Okay, so here is the spreadsheet for tracking your money. Can you use that for a month?”

“I’ll try.”

Proabably, this scenario happens once in a while in Nancy’s practice. I know it does in my counseling practice.

What does this “trying” actually mean?

The pleasant part of “trying” is that it’s open ended, that it points to a beginner’s mind. The not-so-pleasant part sometimes makes me think of clenched teeth, ‘trying but failing’ or ‘trying without much effort.’

It’s not a very powerful word, and if I’m right about the clenched teeth, the failing and the lack of effort, it’s a word that speaks of discomfort, disappointment and lack of energy.

Yuk.

That’s why the idea of “allowing” feels so much better. It’s still open ended. It’s a word that is sweet and expansive. It’s about opening one’s arms and saying, come in, come in! And in that, it is much more powerful.

Instead of being a good little girl then and “trying” to follow the advice of an authority, I can consider the advice of an experienced equal and allow myself to experiment with it. Instead of “ok, I’ll try”, we could have:

“Hmmm, I wonder what will happen when I see where all my money goes? What insights might I gain? How could doing this help me invite more interesting and helpful things into my life?”


isabella mori
moritherapy
counseling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

Brian MulroneyLove him or hate him, Brian Mulroney (make that the Right Honourable Brian Mulroney) is coming to town – to Chapters on Robson, specifically.

He’ll be promoting his newly released book, Memoirs at 8pm, Tue. Sept. 25th 2007.

dscn0026-2.JPGWow – great deals today:

1. I’m becoming a craigslist junkie! Oh no! as if facebook wasn’t bad enough! (aren’t I too old for this?) Craigslist deals:

my favourite salon, Satellite, in gastown, needs a model tonight for one of their apprentices. If you have straight hair, shoulder-length, you could receive a free bob. (I personally use this salon. They’re amazing. Definitely high end, but the stylists also donate their time each month to give cuts to marginalized women in the dtes)

also found a free queen-size, nearly new, boxspring mattress from a coal harbour address.

2. And for the literati: Word on the Street is a week Sunday. Mark your calendars!

3. And last but not least, the jacket featured up top, in great condition, men’s large/xtra large – $80. Visit 10 on Wednesday to claim.

debt sucksDon’t know about you, but I sure remember graduating from UBC, liberal arts major, and whamo! Having to start forking over $300 each and every month for 10 freaking years. When my business, Your Money by Design, is a multi-million going concern (give me a couple more years, lol) I will put money behind lobbying against sending our young graduates out to start their life saddled by this kind of debt. Granted, I probably could have scrimped a little more, but still, this was no way to start out in life.

Thank goodness, the federal gov’t is now taking public input on this matter. Will it make a difference? One can hope – and at least, speak to the matter. Feel free to c.c. your comments to the gov’t below! I’m interested: am I the only one who feels this way?

Money coaches in business for themselves are no more immune than the rest of the population to moments of anxiety about money! And today, for the first time in months, I had waves of anxiety. (and having worked with high-income earners as well as middle-income canadians, I just bet that the likes of oprah et alia aren’t exempt either!). I’ve learned some good strategies to handle my anxiety and offer them to you.

My Top 5 Methods of Handling Financial Anxiety

  1. Distinguish between cash flow issues, and overall net worth. Cash flow can be navigated, including choppy waters. Net worth is the grounding point. (and if any readers are panicking because they don’t have much net worth either — this is just one in five! Read point #5 – it will help!)
  2. Clearly differentiate between self-worth and finances. Fortunes come and fortunes go. So do the tighten-the-belt times. We are not our finances! We are, in Lynn Twist’s words, fully sufficient as human beings irrespective of our bank accounts. So let’s not overencumber ourselves by adding our very sense of Self into the mix!
  3. Remind ourselves of the numerous times we have handled tough moments. Life simply isn’t easy – not for Britney Spears, not for Owen Wilson, not for anyone. The real test, in Kipling’s words, is: “If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same.”
  4. Do some deep breathing exercises. Take deep breaths in … and let go of the past. The past is in no way a determinant of our future. Take deep breaths in … let go of the future. It hasn’t yet arrived. We do no know what it holds, in any direction. Anxiety about the future is based on nothing real. Take deep breaths in … and enter the flow state of Now. In that calmed state, approach your current circumstances and … #5….
  5. Turn the anxiety into productive action. In the calmed state, review the situation, and make plans. They don’t have to be perfect plans. They can be adjusted. They don’t have to be Ultimate plans. They just need to give some methods of navigating through the current financial circumstances. Lay out the facts. Give yourself breathing space to come up with ideas. It may come down to ‘which is least unpleasant’, but more than likely, it will come to something that is manageable.

Do you have strategies of managing your anxiety? What are they?