A Money Coach in Canada

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James, we’ll call him, is a new client. A thirty-something professional with a good income, he wants his use of money to have integrity, that is to say, align with who he is as a person. And that, readers, is the heart and soul of what my biz, Your Money by Design is all about.

I’m giving James coaching support to supplement his work on my It’s Your Money program. In exchange, he will guest post reflections on the modules as he works through them.

Here’s why he wants to take the program:

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Hi Nancy,

I guess part of the story of my life is delaying taking action in matters that are important to me, or that I have every indication that they will be important to me. And facing my “money issues” is one of those matters.

I have read or heard from different sources that how you deal with money is a reflection of how you deal with yourself, how much you love yourself. And all throughout my life, I have been dealing with low self esteem issues, with false beliefs about who I am, about others and about life in general. Even though I grew up in a middle to to high class environment, somehow I was always in a space of lack, I viewed life as this unfair structure that just “had it out” for some people, while favouring others. I felt I was one of those people life had it out for. It was this set of beliefs that drove many of my actions in life; the women and friends I chose to be with, career decisions and being clueless in matters of money.

The struggles I felt around my sense of self, others and life have led me to ask questions, that in due time have been answered. I have discovered that I am way more powerful than I originally thought. I have learned that by challenging false beliefs, finding my deeper truth (who I really am), setting clear intentions and acting in alignment with these intentions, I can basically have the life that I want and so much deserve, like everyone. I have also being introduced the concept of integrity, which basically is the way you measure how much in alignment with your intentions, and how to restore it when you all out of alignment or out of integrity. I have learned that shame, feeling bad, beating myself up about having falling out of integrity, is not going to get me back in integrity. I can admit to myself my mistakes while still loving myself, by viewing mistakes as part of being human and a vehicle that drives us to grow.

All these concepts have worked well for me in, slowly but surely, claiming back my life, my personal power. It feels as though waking up from a state of trance and looking around me and seeing the mess around me but instead of ignoring it, just slowly putting things in order. Well, the time has come for me to put my financials in order, to take steps to restore my financial integrity, so to speak. Part of the mess I have woken up to is finding myself in debt. Not too big but big enough to be noticeable and to send me warning flags that if I don’t do something soon, I may find myself in trouble. I see debt as the financial world’s way of measuring how much in integrity we are. If this is the case, I am out of integrity, and I want to restore it. Why did I take so long to take charge? Well, I felt ashamed, inadequate, a bad provider. But these feelings are no way to get to where I want to be, there is no power in feeling ashamed. So I have decided to face that shame and start taking my steps towards financial freedom.

I feel blessed that I have you as a source of guidance, and I can’t wait to get started in learning my way back to financial integrity. This is my intention for working with you Nancy, to learn how to clear all the false beliefs I have about money and my ability to be in a state of abundance. I look forward to this work with you.

To abundance,

James

Photo Credit: Blue Bubble

Women, I’m agitated.

A g i t a t e d.

And my bottom line, which I’ll get to, is: It’s really, really, really important that we, as part of our definition of being self-possessed women, have our collective financial acts together.

What happened was this.

For lack of an iPad or magazines, I watched Dr. Phil on the flight down to Vancouver and my stomach has been quietly churning ever since. It featured a young woman, now 23, who had videotaped her father, a Judge, whipping her with a belt under the guise of “discipline” when she had been 16.

This was in 2004.
Not 1955, 1765 or 1800.
2004.
2004.

It was a barbaric, violent act against a woman to begin with, but two further aspects have me nearly choking down vomit.

1. The first was the mom, who later was clearly remorseful, but at the time, do you know what she said to her daughter? What she said was: Lie on your stomach and take it like a grown woman.

WTF?

WTF?

WTF TAKE IT LIKE A GROWN WOMAN? What’s that supposed to mean? What?

2. The second thing that sent me over the edge is that a sizeable portion of the online commenters not only thought it was ok, “kids these days need discipline”, but thought she was in the wrong for posting this and shaming her father. I know, I know, I know that online commenters tend to be the oddballs of society with time on their hands — or so we should hope, anyway, judging by the quality of most online comments. But still!

So in 2004 we have judges who think it’s ok to whip their teenage girls and mothers who think women should lie on their stomachs and take it, and a whole lot of folks who think that it’s justified to use height, weight, strength, belts against 16 year old girls. In North America.

I’m obviously not ok with it, and I’m hoping to hell you’re not ok with it either. Not at all ok with it. I hope society steps up, and with due process, seriously sanctions the father, the judge. I hope society overwhelmingly condemns this act.

But I doubt it will.

I doubt it will, because women are still not equal, or perceived as equal, or perceived as powerful. If we were, would a man dare to treat a woman like that?

Which brings us back to us women and money.

Being organized with your money isn’t about that great holiday. It’s not about feeling good about yourself. It’s sure not about buying Fluevogs (which is not to say I don’t!)

BEING ORGANIZED WITH MONEY IS ABOUT POWER, AND DON’T ANY OF US FORGET IT.

Our place in the world – such as it is, and after engaging in this episode I’m wondering if we’ve come that far after all – has been, and will be, hard-won. It’s been won by women courageously facing scorn and criticism and derision (not unlike that heaped on #occupy folks) who persevered in insisting women should vote, even at the cost of being brutalized in jail. It’s been won by women who wore themselves out being both moms and career women. It’s been won by women who endured harassment and quietly continued to do good work despite a hostile environment.

We’ve come this far. Let’s not fuck it up by complacency! And since money is power (witness who drives public policy), all I can say is that we women need to get very serious about our money, get serious about being savvy, and get serious about using our money to shape our society. Until we do, it will still be ok to whip young, vulnerable girls with impunity.

Forgive me in advance for how uncharacteristically direct I’m about to be below. Here goes:

1. If you’re not spending time to effectively manage your day-to-day money, your priorities are out of whack, and you’ll soon be out of the game if you’re not already.

2. If you think money is not important, or something you are too good for, you are kidding yourself. Money is a powerful energy and if you’re not in control of it, it’s probably in control of you.

3. If you think managing your money is about “creating the life you want”, your vision is too small.

Last, a confession. I’ve grown complacent myself. Over the past couple years, having significantly more than enough for my needs, I’ve been lax on my active management. Oh, I’ve set up auto-donations to causes, I seek out fair-trade/organic, a blend of truly worthy and feel-good, but I’ve lost sight of the Mammon aspect – that money is power. And I can wield it. And I’d damn well better.

And I will. Over the coming weeks, I’ll post (amongst others) what I am personally doing to make my own finances even more robust and, God willing, effect social change.

Photo Credit: European Parliament

Just sayin’.

This money coach loves these guys. And you will too. Not to mention you’ll love being a Saver.

I just put over 0.5 tonnes of pollution ( CO2) into the air we all share by flying from Yellowknife to Vancouver.

Until this morning, I forgot to deal with it!  Sorry, Planet and fellow humans!

One solution would be to stay put, but I don’t have it in me to pull that one off.

There is something I can do though, and so can everybody:  factor the price of cleaning that pollution up (why wouldn’t I?) into my trip costs.  How?  By purchasing carbon offset credits.  The money we pay goes to things like helping build alternative energy sources so that in time we can wean off of energy that harms the environment.

I just paid $30 to a carbon offset project, which is apparently about what I owed to clean up my part of the pollution.

It’s pretty cool.  The project I supported is in India, near a sugar (cane) farm.  Previously, the discarded canes just got burnt up or left to rot, releasing methane and CO2 into the air.  Now, the discarded canes get used to create energy, and also get converted into fertilizer.  Both of these have created additional business for the farmers, in addition to the environmental benefits.  Check out the vid below.

Would you like to counteract the pollution created by your travel?  (and why wouldn’t you?) It’s really easy. The David Suzuki Foundation and Pembina Institute did the homework for us and recommend which companies to use (see page 10).  I used Less.ca, the top-rated one.  Drop in your starting point and your destination, and it figures out roughly how much pollution your trip generates, and how much it will cost to counteract, then you purchase the credits online.

Photo Credit: Andrew Albuquerque

Gulp.

My hands tremble whenever I shell out over $300 at a time.  Today I swiped out $605.00 to our local sports shop.  If it wasn’t for the fantastic service by Acki, I don’t know that I could have done it.

No more cotton t-shirt, wool cardigan, Roots hoodie and feather vest for this winter runner hopeful!  Now that I know I’ll be in Yellowknife a couple more years+, I took an icy breath and bought the following to handle running in the coming -30C.

  • Merino wool sports bra
  • Base Layer (merino wool)
  • Jacket (fleece lined windbreaker)
  • Thermal running tights
  • Salomon runners (gortex)

There are two problems though.

1. The jacket doesn’t have an inside pocket.  This means my iPhone (indispensable) will be in an outer pocket which will kill the battery in our -20C not to mention is more vulnerable if I fall.   Any suggestions for me on this?

2. The shoes, alas, I think must be returned.  The heel fits just a bit loosely and they slip up and down ever so slightly.  It’s ok for a brief bit but 30 minutes would turn into a real problem, I’m sure.  Or, when it’s cold, will I welcome the looseness for extra socks?

Photo Credit:  Teo

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