The snow’s sad drift.
A bed unmade.
Doleful dishes strewn.

My melancholy’s showing.

Everything wrong threatens permanence: We’ll never get better, our global inequities, and neither will I have a fully funded pension and more than 3 weeks vacation when I can mentally let go of my business responsibilities. ever.

Everything right seems of no consequence: My earning power is at its peak but the world is teetering on economic collapse, if climate change and peak oil doesn’t shatter us, every last one of us, first.

Snow sadly drifts.

Why would any thinking person make a bed, clean the dishes, cozily simmer soup in such conditions?

Why would anyone download their business receivables from Paypal and tally up their net revenue and press Send Money to the psychologist who contributed a module to the program,and also press Send Money to the firm that created the site?

Why would anyone respond graciously to an email query laced with tone?

Why would anyone continue saving $50/paycheque for that 6-months-in-Detroit (yes, Detroit) for an unorthodox 50th experience? It’ll never happen.

Snow sadly drifts.

But quietly I root into resources, inner and outer, that pacify. For me:

• last of a dying breed (see?  even here my melancholy’s showing), a mainstream-religion-member and believer, I content myself in trusting that Another has much more at stake than I do in the wellbeing of planets and poverty-crushed souls
• and the psychologist and the firm, for them I give calm thanks:  they were good to me.  they were good to me.  So I will gather my energy, enough energy to press Send Money.
• and the savings, all my little stratagems to realize my desires, created in better moments, these carry on with or without me (thank you, auto savings plans) and they may not reach their goal, or they may.

The snow drifts.   The bed gets made.  The dishes can wait til tomorrow.  I watch a video about Detroit.

Photo Credit:  Opaline Fracture

Sept 2011′s Money 101 post roundup:

What were you taught about money?

How to bust a poverty mindset

Quick chat with John Chow on culturally-shaped attitudes towards money

Cover it Live twitter chat w/ Krystal on how she got out of student debt so fast, and Marcy on common money messes she sees.

Get New Parents (if yours didn’t give you a healthy approach to money)

Saving. Should you save if you’re in debt? and other such questions.

Debt Elimination: Part 1 Part 2

Disappointment Recovery Plan

And of course all the goodness that was my Online Launch Party!

Disappointed with how things turned out?

Yeah, life doesn’t usually turn out how we think it will. And often the way it turns out doesn’t compare favourably to the life we anticipated. Maybe we don’t feel grown up enough. Maybe we don’t have the RRSPs saved we thought we should by now. Maybe we quietly wonder why others have the Audi, the Yaletown condo, the Fluevogs, the weeks in Italy that we don’t.

Regarding money. Disappointments about money. A recovery plan:

1. You are not alone. Know that. Whatever aches, shames, frustrates — you are not alone in being disappointed about your finances. Take comfort in this. Nearly every one of my clients – physicians, realtors, politicians among them – quietly wonder the same thing (admittedly on a different scale). We all face disappointments great and small.

2. It’s probably not your fault. Or not most of it. You and I and our money are shaped by our birth year, by government policy, by what is happening in Greece, and yes, to some extent our will to take control of our finances as well. So cut yourself some slack.

3. Acknowledge that comparing your situation to others is a fool’s errand. Who knows the full story? They may have had other priorities. They may have received an inheritance. And yeah, possibly they have made more financially astute choices to date, but whatever. You are where you are; they are where they are. Let it be.

4. Remind yourself of what’s good in your life. Then take this 30 second exercise to blow your mind.

5. It’s true, you know, that today is the first day of the rest of your life. If you are convinced you can do better for yourself – however you define better – shake off the disappointment or guilt or failures of yesterday and move forward. Move forward.

update: for a recap of all Sept Money 101 posts, click here
Photo Credit: Opaline Fracture Design

PART TWO (see Part One here)

Rack debt up again – frack!
Whittle debt back down.
Slowly rack debt up again.
Hack furiously at debt.
Outta debt!!! < happy dance >
OOOOOPS – forgot about the car repair payment due but no money ’cause it paid off the debt.
Back in debt.
Discouraged. Pissed off. Get outta town for the weekend on the credit card since it’s racked up anyways.
In more debt than ever.
HACK FURIOUSLY AT DEBT.
Forgetaboutit. Just forgetaboutit.

You cannot get permanent results with temporary changes. (Liz said this first)

If pulling out your credit card because you don’t have the money for your purchase is a lifestyle, your lifestyle is out of whack with your income. It’s time to make some permanent adjustments. Will it be painful? Possibly, but not as painful as living with screwed up finances for the rest of your life. And probably not nearly as painful as you might think.

1. Start by getting a real handle on what you’re doing with your money.

2. Have a sober look at your lifestyle. I don’t mean the lattes.
I mean medium/big ticket things like:

• your choice of transport
• your choice of home
• the extent to which you socialize and how you socialize
• your choice of job (not enough income/location)
• your bright-shiny-objects (lookin’ at you, fellow geeks).

Are there systemic aspects of your lifestyle that are slowly taking you under? Wednesday’s post asked you to identify some small changes you could make to your lifestyle. Today I ask you to think carefully about the bigger picture. Are there some fundamental changes you need to make, permanently? This is not a quick-fix thing; this is a long, hard look thing that will require serious discussion with other people in your life, identifying multiple options for yourself, selecting the one that is most workable, and the resolve to make a permanent shift.

Wbat’s peace of mind worth to you?  What’s that inner assurance that you are getting ahead worth to you?  The lifestyle changes above are the pricetag.   Over to you.

3. Find ways to increase your income. This is a whole topic in itself. It doesn’t have to mean a second job (but it could). You could start a small home-based business. You could ask for a raise. You could see if your investments could do better. You could actively seek higher-paying work. You could get your teen-age+ kids to contribute a bit to the family coffers.

update: for a recap of all Sept Money 101 posts, click here

Photo credit: Bill Luken

PART 1

Yes, that Krystal may have done it but dammit, she’s the exception that proves the rule:   If you are hell-bent on getting rid of your debt NOW, you will fail.  Or most of you will.

I feel your stress level shoot up.  Hang in there.

First, some (begrudging) exceptions:

• If you have a healthy income and a small-ish debt ($500 – $2000), go hard.
• If you are young or youthful, unhindered by kids, dogs, violin lessons, boyfriends,  with quantum energy to work multiple jobs go crazy.
• If Frugaliciously You live well and truly below your means, have been for a while, and you’re good like that, go for it too.

But for the rest of you:  those of you who have hit some kind of panicky pissy pain point that makes you think This feels awful and I want this debt of my back NOW, for those of you, listen closely.

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If you are serious about eliminating your debt, it requires a long-haul strategy.   A long-haul, day after day after day after day after day after tomorrow and the day after that and the day after and the day after and the DAY AFTER THAT strategy.

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So.  What can you do to get started on a serious journey, not a loop-de-loop in debt | workworkworkwork | making good progress | DAMN NOW I’M BACK IN DEBT  journey?

Here are three starters:

1. Decide on three small, really small, changes that you can make in your lifestyle that you won’t feel.  Think of things like a subscription for a magazine you don’t read anymore; eliminating your land-line and using your cel and skype instead;  switching to public transit to save on parking fees at work (but only if you can really handle it).   That money you saved?  That specific amount (yes, get your calculator and get specific) now goes to your debt every month.
2. Move your debt to a lower interest debt. Credit cards can be moved to a lower interest card; lower interest card balances can be moved to lines of credit; lines of credit can sometimes be rolled into your mortgage if you have one.  The money you will save in interest? That specific amount (what.  you put your calculator away?  silly you) now goes to your debt every month.
3. Snowball it.  The money saved in #1 and #2 goes to your smallest debt.  Once that is paid off, combine the money saved in #1 and #2 plus whatever you had been paying originally for that smallest debt and start applying that to the next smallest debt.

Come back Saturday for PART 2.

oh, and if you’re burning to eliminate your debt and take control of your money right now, time for you (shameless plug alert) to take my program.

update: for a recap of all Sept Money 101 posts, click here

Photo Credit:  Firepile