We all know how many messages – explicit and implicit – we receive urging us to Buy.Buy.Buy.

Only active questioning and resistance can prevent us from being mindlessly sucked in.

Here are 3 vital questions worth asking before buying.

1. Am I buying this because I think it will improve my life?

If yes, unpack this belief at least briefly, before walking up to the till.

• How will it improve my life?
• How much will it improve my life – enough to justify the cost?
• How long will it improve my life?

2. Am I buying this because I think I may need it “someday”?

In this instance, it might be worth a quick review:  Do I often buy things thinking I may need it?  If so, have most of those purchases indeed proven to be useful, or are they collecting dust?  When do I think that “someday” will occur, and until then, will I feel good about this purchase?  In light of your answer (either way), do you still wish to make this purchase?

3. Am I buying this primarily because it’s on sale?

If yes, think of at least 5 other uses for that same amount of money.   Now, would you still prefer to make the purchase (in which case, go for it), or would you prefer to use the funds for other things?

I do believe I screwed up last Saturday when I said the first step in achieving your hopes and dreams is to write them down.

I think there are actually two steps prior to writing anything.

The first, in polite Steven Covey terms, is to begin with the end in mind.

In other words: Consider Your Death. You are going to die. Obviously so am I.

Forgive me for being so blunt in April of all times; death has been on my mind. A man of great influence on me personally died last week. I listened to this interview of Nuala O’faolain, a famous Irish author in which she talks frankly and weepingly of her impending death. And most directly relevant, I watched “Really achieving your childhood dreams” a video by a Carnegie Mellon professor who knew this would be his last ever lecture.

It’s worth taking time to think about it, at least a little, before landing on and pursuing our hopes and dreams: When we are on our death-beds, will they seem trivial, or worth the days we had? Will they be lasting and of some kind of substance, or the equivalent of soap bubbles?

Before we put a money towards our dreams, it’s worth being convinced of their death-bed value.

If you want to manage your money more effectively, you’re in the right place. In January we’ve kickstarted some new thinking and exercises on the topic. Come by each Wednesday and weekend for posts.

Last weekend was all about identifying your unique strengths.
You now have a composite that should inspire and encourage you.

Now it’s time to apply those strengths to managing your money effectively. So grab a pen and paper (or open your macbook, or whatever) and have at ‘er. Think of at least three strengths and brainstorm new ways you can bring them to bear on your money.

To get your thoughts going:

• Are you a good team player?  Why not consider buddying up with others who also want to become expert money managers and pull together as a team? Smart Cookies did it!  So could you!
• Are you good at engineering or systems?  What would happen if you spent some time developing an elegant, systematic approach to your money?
• Are you a big thinker?  Give yourself permission to think big about your money.   What do you want it to do for you?  For the world?  Then start taking steps (more later on that topic) to realize it?
• Are you good at conversation?  Do people feel at ease with you?  Try talking to people about their best strategies for handling money, and let it inspire you and give you ideas.
• Are you good at Excel?  Create a whiz-bang spreadsheet for yourself
• Are you skilled creating graphics?  Make yourself some charts about your debt, your savings, your net worth and update them regularly.

The list is endless.  The point is, capitalize on your strengths.  Be creative.  Let yourself grow and develop further muscle as you apply your strengths in new ways.

Readers – I’m super-interested if you care to share:  what is one of your strengths that you already use effectively in managing your money?

What do you already have in your life that you appreciate? The art of contentment is just this: learning to derive satisfaction from that which we already have.

Monday posts will be a personal praxis of contentment.
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Don’t you love the feeling of sleeping in a cool room with just the right weight and warmth of a quality blanket? Yellowknife of all places is good-blanket worthy! This pure wool blanket was made in Canada by the MacAusland Woollen Mills in PEI. This family-owned business has been making blankets since 1932! Thanks to The Old Faithful Shop for introducing me. And as you can see by the last photo, a little friend also fully appreciates it too (and I indulge him).

Does this story sound familiar?

Amanda was determined to spend more responsibly, and especially to stop using her credit card so much. Time and again, she set a firm plan, and over the coming weeks, sometimes even managing for months, she would seriously curb her spending. But inevitably, one day she would succumb to an irresistible temptation and feel like she had ended up right back where she started. Most often things went something like this: Amanda would turn down invitations out for lunch, she would walk on past John Fleuvog’s on Queen Street, and she would content herself with dvd’s at home (after all, hadn’t she bought the Blu-Ray in order to do precisely that?). Then one day when she was perhaps a little tired, or maybe lonely, she would finally say Yes, and out would come the credit card. And having finally broken the strict regimen, she would then go the distance – go out for lunch with friends, then pop into the nearby shop and top it off with late afternoon drinks. $300 gone.

There was always an immediate rush of gratification, but pretty quickly discouragement would set in.
“I’m in debt. Again”. And then she would blame herself. “I have no self-discipline!”.

Chip and Dan Heath, in their latest book “Switch: How to change things when change is hard” have a useful lens through which to understand what just happened.

We are not a sane species! In fact, we are downright schizophrenic. Our minds have two systems at work at the same time, all the time.
One part of our brain is rational. This is the part of us capable of long-term planning, analysis and delayed gratification for the greater good.
The other part of our brain is instinctive. It is, every moment, acutely aware of whether we are experiencing pain or pleasure.
Our rational side provides us with direction. Our instinctive side provides us the energy to get things done. When these two parts of our brain work together, change happens. But when our rational mind is at odds with our instinctive mind, the rational mind will lose. Every time.

When Amanda was faced with a strong enough temptation that put her instinctive, short-term mind into conflict with her rational mind she pulled out her credit card.

This does not mean she is un-self-disciplined.
It does not mean she has an unconscious desire to sabotage herself.
It does not mean she is lousy with money.

She simply found herself in a situation that put her two systems in conflict.

This is the first thing you need to know about changing your money habits. Long-term success requires an awareness of these two parts of your brain, and finding ways to work with both the rational and the instinctive parts. Over the coming mid-week and weekends, I’ll be posting on how to do precisely this.