It’s a dilemma for anyone with half a heart (if you simply don’t give a damn when the destitute on the street corners ask you for your change, you need to puzzle for a while then grow your heart two more sizes).

“They have soup kitchens and social assistance programs, and giving them change is just going to enable their dependency and probably will go straight to drugs”. That’s what I said to my softer-hearted cousin when she visited.

But over time I learned that it wasn’t that straightforward. Sometimes my change really did go to a slice of pizza that may have been the only protein or hot food they’d get that day. Sometimes the soup kitchens weren’t open (like Sunday mornings, because all the faith-based places weren’t open!). Sometimes the access to social assistance was so freaking complicated what little energy the individual could muster was sucked dry during the first (crappy pay phone) call to the 1-800#.

So then. I started giving out change if I had it, and dignify the exchange (somewhat) by leaving it entirely to the individual to use as they saw fit. Sorta like the rest of us do.

But I think I just heard a better answer.

What we can say with confidence is that we are to give something to everyone who asks – dignity, attention, time, a listening ear. Sometimes we may give money, sometimes not.

Sounds like a pretty Christ-massy sort of response to “can you spare some change” to me.

I’ll start, minimally, by not being pouty when some of Yellowknife’s folks (often inebriated to avoid hells I don’t know about) crowd in the local post office entrance or bank machine areas.

Anyway, when I was recently in Vancouver, I went to my radical and wonderful home parish in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside and the priest on deck for the homily, Jessica (yes, a woman priest, YAY and because it’s a High Anglican church it’s “Mother” Jessica), gave the homily, and I have to say it challenged this money coach.

It challenged me to make tithing a central aspect of my finances rather than a one-more-aspect. By that, I mean I want it to become my new barometer of my financial health. This is part of my re-invigorated money-coach-heal-thyself programme to which I committed.

Previous barometers were:

• ability to meet my monthly obligations
• building up a nest egg
• buying a home
• able to live a more luxurious lifestyle
• having savings for nice things

But I want a new barometer.   I want my new barometer of financial success to be:  Am I managing my finances in such a way that I can give 10% of it away?  To organizations that feed the hungry?  To organizations that advocate for structural change, social justice, so that folks aren’t hungry in the first place?  To initiatives that will help the planet?  And of course, to my parish which has been such a rich blessing to me over the years?

I don’t do that right now.  I give a certain amount on a regular basis, and beyond that, on one-offs throughout the year.  But I can, and desire to, make it a central aspect of my money management to give 10% away on a regular basis.   If you want to listen to the homily – it’s about 6 minutes – it’s below.  If you want just the key points, here they are:

1. Tithing is in response to a great vision, not a commandment

2. Occam’s Razor – the simplest model is probably the best one  (10%)

3. Tithing can offer freedom from anxiety

4. It can invite God’s healing into our relationship with money

5. It’s a practice of gratitude

Mother Jessica’s Top 5 Reasons to Tithe from St. James' Anglican Church on Vimeo.

Photo Credit: More Good Foundation

I used to love investing. Stocks. Bonds. Dividends. p/e ratios. Yield. Acid tests (they’re not what you think). These are words more women need to know, love and own!

If you know my personal story (see vid on sidebar), part of the joy included building up my investments in tandem with getting out of debt and managing my day-to-day use of money.

But I’ve back-slidden.

Here’s what happened: When I started my biz, YMbD, I stopped investing in the market because I was investing in my business instead. Most of the time I worked part-time as well, and at least had a bit of work pension building up. For the past two years I’ve enjoyed building up an (ahem) public servant pension. And so I got lazy. It’s been too long since I’ve socked away money in a dead serious manner, nor have I been on top of the business world the way I believe I should be — and any woman, dare I say, should be.

I don’t feel good about this.

So I’ve made the first moves to get myself back in the investing saddle.

*** DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER ***

I am not a financial planner. I am not a financial advisor. Do not take any of what I’m about to say as advice. I am simply an average-joe-ette who learned how to make her own investing decisions because I’m nerdy and a control freak on these things (and want to save the commissions) and I genuinely like reading financial pages and annual reports. I’m also fun at a party.

*****************************************************************************************************************

So here’s what I’ve done.

1. I’ve re-joined a women’s investment club which I’d actually co-founded 10 years ago. I withdrew 5 years ago, but it’s still going strong and they kindly accepted me back in. This is fertile ground for intel about which businesses are up-and-coming (but not penny stocks! We look for at least a 5 year track record). We each pay $40/month, and come to monthly meetings prepared with research on various companies. We pool the funds, and once we have a chunk of change, we debate the various companies and select one in which to invest. The person who recommended the selected company then keeps us informed each month on how it’s been doing.

2. I’ve also rejigged my budget so that a chunk of my monthly salary will start going automatically into my self-directed RRSPs. Truth be told, I’m not confident these days about buying stocks. I’m way more jaded then I was pre-2008 now that we know the extent to which markets (us investors large and small) were duped by corrupt employees and CEOs. Beyond that, I’m not seeing much in the macro picture that gives me confidence my investments will pay off for me over the next 20 years. But … I’m not about to put my money under my mattress either. So, I’ll hunt and peck until I find some companies I like and think will perform, larger picture notwithstanding.

That’s it for now. I’m quietly excited. Skepticism notwithstanding, there’s a real thrill from investing in companies, and at least in the past, I had a kick-ass success rate that beat that pants off the vast majority of mutual fund returns. Anyone care to join me online Saturday mornings, lattes in hand, and share good business / economics articles for an hour or so?

I’m giving James coaching support to supplement his work on my It’s Your Money program. In exchange, he will guest post reflections on the modules as he works through them.

Here’s why he wants to take the program:

————————-

Hi Nancy,

I guess part of the story of my life is delaying taking action in matters that are important to me, or that I have every indication that they will be important to me. And facing my “money issues” is one of those matters.

I have read or heard from different sources that how you deal with money is a reflection of how you deal with yourself, how much you love yourself. And all throughout my life, I have been dealing with low self esteem issues, with false beliefs about who I am, about others and about life in general. Even though I grew up in a middle to to high class environment, somehow I was always in a space of lack, I viewed life as this unfair structure that just “had it out” for some people, while favouring others. I felt I was one of those people life had it out for. It was this set of beliefs that drove many of my actions in life; the women and friends I chose to be with, career decisions and being clueless in matters of money.

The struggles I felt around my sense of self, others and life have led me to ask questions, that in due time have been answered. I have discovered that I am way more powerful than I originally thought. I have learned that by challenging false beliefs, finding my deeper truth (who I really am), setting clear intentions and acting in alignment with these intentions, I can basically have the life that I want and so much deserve, like everyone. I have also being introduced the concept of integrity, which basically is the way you measure how much in alignment with your intentions, and how to restore it when you all out of alignment or out of integrity. I have learned that shame, feeling bad, beating myself up about having falling out of integrity, is not going to get me back in integrity. I can admit to myself my mistakes while still loving myself, by viewing mistakes as part of being human and a vehicle that drives us to grow.

All these concepts have worked well for me in, slowly but surely, claiming back my life, my personal power. It feels as though waking up from a state of trance and looking around me and seeing the mess around me but instead of ignoring it, just slowly putting things in order. Well, the time has come for me to put my financials in order, to take steps to restore my financial integrity, so to speak. Part of the mess I have woken up to is finding myself in debt. Not too big but big enough to be noticeable and to send me warning flags that if I don’t do something soon, I may find myself in trouble. I see debt as the financial world’s way of measuring how much in integrity we are. If this is the case, I am out of integrity, and I want to restore it. Why did I take so long to take charge? Well, I felt ashamed, inadequate, a bad provider. But these feelings are no way to get to where I want to be, there is no power in feeling ashamed. So I have decided to face that shame and start taking my steps towards financial freedom.

I feel blessed that I have you as a source of guidance, and I can’t wait to get started in learning my way back to financial integrity. This is my intention for working with you Nancy, to learn how to clear all the false beliefs I have about money and my ability to be in a state of abundance. I look forward to this work with you.

To abundance,

James

Photo Credit: Blue Bubble

A g i t a t e d.

And my bottom line, which I’ll get to, is: It’s really, really, really important that we, as part of our definition of being self-possessed women, have our collective financial acts together.

What happened was this.

For lack of an iPad or magazines, I watched Dr. Phil on the flight down to Vancouver and my stomach has been quietly churning ever since. It featured a young woman, now 23, who had videotaped her father, a Judge, whipping her with a belt under the guise of “discipline” when she had been 16.

This was in 2004.
Not 1955, 1765 or 1800.
2004.
2004.

It was a barbaric, violent act against a woman to begin with, but two further aspects have me nearly choking down vomit.

1. The first was the mom, who later was clearly remorseful, but at the time, do you know what she said to her daughter? What she said was: Lie on your stomach and take it like a grown woman.

WTF?

WTF?

WTF TAKE IT LIKE A GROWN WOMAN? What’s that supposed to mean? What?

2. The second thing that sent me over the edge is that a sizeable portion of the online commenters not only thought it was ok, “kids these days need discipline”, but thought she was in the wrong for posting this and shaming her father. I know, I know, I know that online commenters tend to be the oddballs of society with time on their hands — or so we should hope, anyway, judging by the quality of most online comments. But still!

So in 2004 we have judges who think it’s ok to whip their teenage girls and mothers who think women should lie on their stomachs and take it, and a whole lot of folks who think that it’s justified to use height, weight, strength, belts against 16 year old girls. In North America.

I’m obviously not ok with it, and I’m hoping to hell you’re not ok with it either. Not at all ok with it. I hope society steps up, and with due process, seriously sanctions the father, the judge. I hope society overwhelmingly condemns this act.

But I doubt it will.

I doubt it will, because women are still not equal, or perceived as equal, or perceived as powerful. If we were, would a man dare to treat a woman like that?

Which brings us back to us women and money.

Being organized with your money isn’t about that great holiday. It’s not about feeling good about yourself. It’s sure not about buying Fluevogs (which is not to say I don’t!)

BEING ORGANIZED WITH MONEY IS ABOUT POWER, AND DON’T ANY OF US FORGET IT.

Our place in the world – such as it is, and after engaging in this episode I’m wondering if we’ve come that far after all – has been, and will be, hard-won. It’s been won by women courageously facing scorn and criticism and derision (not unlike that heaped on #occupy folks) who persevered in insisting women should vote, even at the cost of being brutalized in jail. It’s been won by women who wore themselves out being both moms and career women. It’s been won by women who endured harassment and quietly continued to do good work despite a hostile environment.

We’ve come this far. Let’s not fuck it up by complacency! And since money is power (witness who drives public policy), all I can say is that we women need to get very serious about our money, get serious about being savvy, and get serious about using our money to shape our society. Until we do, it will still be ok to whip young, vulnerable girls with impunity.

Forgive me in advance for how uncharacteristically direct I’m about to be below. Here goes:

1. If you’re not spending time to effectively manage your day-to-day money, your priorities are out of whack, and you’ll soon be out of the game if you’re not already.

2. If you think money is not important, or something you are too good for, you are kidding yourself. Money is a powerful energy and if you’re not in control of it, it’s probably in control of you.

3. If you think managing your money is about “creating the life you want”, your vision is too small.

Last, a confession. I’ve grown complacent myself. Over the past couple years, having significantly more than enough for my needs, I’ve been lax on my active management. Oh, I’ve set up auto-donations to causes, I seek out fair-trade/organic, a blend of truly worthy and feel-good, but I’ve lost sight of the Mammon aspect – that money is power. And I can wield it. And I’d damn well better.

And I will. Over the coming weeks, I’ll post (amongst others) what I am personally doing to make my own finances even more robust and, God willing, effect social change.

Photo Credit: European Parliament

This money coach loves these guys. And you will too. Not to mention you’ll love being a Saver.

Until this morning, I forgot to deal with it!  Sorry, Planet and fellow humans!

One solution would be to stay put, but I don’t have it in me to pull that one off.

There is something I can do though, and so can everybody:  factor the price of cleaning that pollution up (why wouldn’t I?) into my trip costs.  How?  By purchasing carbon offset credits.  The money we pay goes to things like helping build alternative energy sources so that in time we can wean off of energy that harms the environment.

I just paid $30 to a carbon offset project, which is apparently about what I owed to clean up my part of the pollution.

It’s pretty cool.  The project I supported is in India, near a sugar (cane) farm.  Previously, the discarded canes just got burnt up or left to rot, releasing methane and CO2 into the air.  Now, the discarded canes get used to create energy, and also get converted into fertilizer.  Both of these have created additional business for the farmers, in addition to the environmental benefits.  Check out the vid below.

Would you like to counteract the pollution created by your travel?  (and why wouldn’t you?) It’s really easy. The David Suzuki Foundation and Pembina Institute did the homework for us and recommend which companies to use (see page 10).  I used Less.ca, the top-rated one.  Drop in your starting point and your destination, and it figures out roughly how much pollution your trip generates, and how much it will cost to counteract, then you purchase the credits online.

Photo Credit: Andrew Albuquerque

My hands tremble whenever I shell out over $300 at a time.  Today I swiped out $605.00 to our local sports shop.  If it wasn’t for the fantastic service by Acki, I don’t know that I could have done it.

No more cotton t-shirt, wool cardigan, Roots hoodie and feather vest for this winter runner hopeful!  Now that I know I’ll be in Yellowknife a couple more years+, I took an icy breath and bought the following to handle running in the coming -30C.

• Merino wool sports bra
• Base Layer (merino wool)
• Jacket (fleece lined windbreaker)
• Thermal running tights
• Salomon runners (gortex)

There are two problems though.

1. The jacket doesn’t have an inside pocket.  This means my iPhone (indispensable) will be in an outer pocket which will kill the battery in our -20C not to mention is more vulnerable if I fall.   Any suggestions for me on this?

2. The shoes, alas, I think must be returned.  The heel fits just a bit loosely and they slip up and down ever so slightly.  It’s ok for a brief bit but 30 minutes would turn into a real problem, I’m sure.  Or, when it’s cold, will I welcome the looseness for extra socks?

Photo Credit:  Teo

*****

The question was so loaded it was life-threatening and Jesus knew it.

“What do you say, Rabbi?”
“Is it lawful to pay this tax to Caesar?”

The offence of the tribute tax went deeper than just having to cough up money when you were already the oppressed. The currency in which the tax had to be paid inherently served as imperial propaganda before the age of advertising: Its imagery of Caesar made devastatingly clear who had the power and who was the vanquished. It was scorchingly and humiliatingly personal too, an item you held right in the very palm of your hand.

You have the coins and it means you are colluding and integrating with the Empire and the cult of emperor worship. You don’t have coins and you are outside the economic system and you probably don’t survive.

To be asked by the religious leaders “Is it lawful [by God as the Hebrews understood him] to pay the tribute tax?” is damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Answer “yes” and as a Jewish Rabbi you are now colluding with the Romans against God’s people. Answer “no” and the politicos in the crowd who helped frame up the question would legitimize killing you.

You know how Jesus answered the question. He first asked them to produce a coin (think of the implications of that), then asked the counter-question, “Whose image is on this coin?”. If you don’t know the rest of the story, it’s here.

What does this story say to us, two thousand years and a few cultures later?

Our coins, of course, are different. “In God we Trust,” some even read. Nonetheless coins, currency, money, are a construct of the empire (or world, if you prefer) in which we live. This empire does not crucify people or crush dissidents by leaving corpses rotting in our streets as a message to our families and communities or fund circus-spectacles featuring grotesque slaughters of men and beasts. But it is other. It is a construct. Unlike water, air, grain, milk, items all freely given to us as the necessities of life, money is a medium we humans created.

For some time now money hasn’t even been coin per se, nor even a representation of coin, but rather electronic blips and bytes representing ideas so complex and convoluted and separate from pretty much everything we know and understand that, frankly, we’ve pretty much lost track of it. It represents empire.

I argue this then. A healthy (holy?) stance towards money involves an internal distancing from it. I don’t mean negligence. I don’t mean rogue attempts to bypass currency with bits of silver or gold. Like it or not, we are as integrated with our empire as the Jews were in the Roman Empire. But let’s understand that money is no less a thing of “Caesar” now than back then.

Questions.

Are we consorting with the empire?

Photo Credit: HowardLake

Pumpkin Spice Syrup for Pumpkin Spice Lattes – Cook Like a Champion.

Photo Credit: Dalboz17