Saturday Case Study: why do we fear we don’t have/won’t have Enough?
Jan 12th, 2008 by nancyzimmerman
It never ceases to amaze me: so many of us seem to live in fear that we don’t have/won’t have
“Enough“.
When I probe my clients for more specifics, there is usually a lack of groundedness – not to mention, lack of concrete data with which to draw any conclusions about having, or not having enough.
Some of my clients earn over $100K, with or without assets to speak of.
Others earn in the $30-K range.
I personally, have managed to live reasonably well on … less even than that(!) over the past years as I’ve built my business – and yet, life has been incredibly meaningful, my work is absorbing, I have had countless rich times with friends and people I love, my intellect has been stretched in ways I haven’t experienced since my UBC history days (I still miss you, Prof. Straker , RIP; Your history/philosophy of science class blew my mind), and in the mix I had a number of wonderful getaways too. In short: life can be good and full on a lot smaller budget than we think! (although see my other post about Enough Already with living frugally.)
So the questions remain:
1. What creates our respective barometers of ‘what constitutes enough‘?
2. Why do so many of us feel like we don’t have it?
(Isabella, are there connections to our eating disorders here? Bargainista – I bet you’d thrive well regardless of your income. Krystal - do you ever struggle with a generalized sense of not having enough? or does mapping it out so clearly for yourself keep you grounded? David, I bet Pivot Legal has some thoughts on whether or not we have ‘enough’! And LA – does your midlife Millionaire’s group of women discuss/feel like they have ‘enough’?)
wow, this could turn into a whole SERIES of posts!
just a few thoughts right off the bat:
an old “psychobabble” saying is: “there’s a hole in my soul and i’ll never get enough.” so no matter what and how we pour in – food, booze, money, fancy vacations, power, romantic relationships, and the list goes on – if there’s a hole in the soul, there’ll always be a problem.
comparing food addiction with, dare i say it, “money addiction” is actually not a bad idea. it’s something that we need, which is different from, say, cocaine – THERE someone can just go cold turkey. but we can’t go cold turkey from money or food.
a fascinating topic that deserves more brain power than what i have right now, at 11:15pm!
btw, hearing that you were blown away by a philosophy of science class makes me like you all the more
@isabella – yup – the course did what a liberal arts degree should do: turned my world inside up and outside down and I never fully recovered! I hadn’t heard that particular ‘psychobabble’. I’m going to add it to my repetoire of great quotes. Maybe a series together in the works?
Yes, I do thrive despite my income and that’s a bit of an issue at home. I probably could use some money coaching. ; ) I’d love to make some career changes but the regular pay cheques make it really tough especially with a family of four.
yes, that sounds like a great idea, nancy! the working together on this, i mean. i’m writing this even later than last time, it’s 1:03. that’s AM
At our Million Dollar Women free lunch hour seminars in the fall, women expressed the fear of becoming a bag lady and losing their indepenence over and over.
More recently, we have hosted a game night TGIF to play the Cash Flow Game and learn. This group comprises women in business. Their concern is business success. – Meeting their business commitments as well as their personal needs. Last time we had a very interesting conversation on the concept of winning and what it means to us. I would like to raise your questions next time, to see what what comes up
Personally I think Isabella is onto something. If we are incomplete within our soul, it will show up in all aspects of our lives.
@LA- i would love to hear back from you after you have the discussion.